As is mandatory with any new website, I must introduce myself and my intentions with this page.

 

I am a 21 year old, traditional animation major who spend a lot of time contemplating various aspects of her life.  I’m not a very spiritual person, yet I’m contemplating becoming more spiritual.  At the moment I am an agnostic that has some leanings towards Christianity.  I moved away from Christianity about a year or two ago.  In a physical sense (meaning that I didn’t go to church anymore).  I was well aware that I wasn’t Christian at a young age.  I always had/have questions regarding the belief.  But when I was just told to “read the bible” to find the answer, I didn’t find that satisfactory enough.  Not to mention I developed a fear of God that I’m still attempting to get over.

 

But by speaking to a few Christians online and being recommended books to read (mostly dealing with apologetics), I’m coming to accept God on an intellectual level.  Most likely because I realize the leap of logic it takes to believe that something can spontaneously come from nothing.  And the leap of logic it takes to believe that the universe has always existed when it has been proven scientifically that the universe did not always exist.  I suppose I call myself “agnostic” because (to quote the title of a book) I don’t have enough faith to be an atheist.

 

Yet I still leave the path of atheism open.  Though I suppose that I would never go down that path because it would help me in the least bit.  Particularly because I’m a bit depressed and taking the stance that this is all that life is would just drive me further to depression.  So out of the two ends of the spectrum, I think atheism is the harder to believe.  It also doesn’t help that I don’t have a very positive view of many atheists.  The good majority come across as self-righteous.  Always putting others who believe differently down.  Claiming that they’re smarter than those who have a faith.  The militant atheist is no different than a militant Christian.  At least though, Christians “act that way” because they believe they’re told to (even if they’re wrong in the way they display such behaviors).  Atheists who act in such a manner do so purely out of pride.  This is the main reason that I have a hard time picking a side I think.  I believe that I haven’t been clearly shown the positives of either side.  However Christians on a whole leave a better impression on me than atheists do.

 

The first purpose of this blog (after that long introduction) is to be a “diary” of sorts.  Writing down my ideas when it comes to spirituality and how I’m affect by not being a spiritual person.  Possibly to learn more about such things from other members on the site if they come across my writings.  I will most likely read and follow other blogs from those who I feel I could learn a lot from.  And it would be very good if I could find conversion stories and converse with such people since it’s what will probably help me the most rather than talking to those who are born and bred Christians (not that I couldn’t learn anything from them, it’s just that as an agnostic I feel it would benefit me more to speak to those who have converted from agnosticism or atheism).

 

The second purpose of this blog is to write my experiences and theories regarding therianthropy and otherkin.  I did not mention it above, but I am a domestic dog therian.  Which at it’s core means that in addition to being and feeling human, I also feel very canine.  I use the “simple” label of domestic dog therian as to not complicate the whole issue anymore than it already is.  The full description of the label needs its own blog entry.  And I will probably also discuss how my being a therian ties into my hang ups with religion.

 

For the moment, that’s it I suppose.

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