I really don’t…


When I started writing this, I was first gonna ponder some stuff I thought up while I was gone.  Some ideas I had to expand my blog and my personal concerns about it.  Which lead to me trashing that post and musing about the differences (or similarities in my case) between realism and pessimism.  Which just lead me to this conclusion.  I just don’t understand optimism.


What I mean by that is why I understand the appeal of it, I don’t understand why it’s such a necessary thing.  I consider myself a pessimist by nature.  Because I just find a pessimistic stance on things to be more realistic than the sugar-coated optimistic version.  Optimism is just…confusing.  It seems so natural for me to be pessimistic.  When I just look at the nature of the world, I don’t see how people can be happy all the time about it.  You’re just here in the world.  You didn’t choose your existence.  Your parents selfishly made that decision for you.  And now that you’re here, you’d best be expected to do well for yourself.  If you don’t then you’re just screwed.  If you don’t succeed, you might not be able to live well.  You live in a world run by paper and metal (AKA…money) and as much as people want to pretend that that doesn’t matter, it most certainly does.  Purely because we’re human.  Unlike other animals, we don’t really have built in mechanisms to protect ourselves in nature alone.  We need to buy the materials necessary to help us survive in nature.  Not to mention people have to deal with such depressing issues as politics and religion.  Everyone debating about who’s right and who’s wrong.  Everyone hating each other for such trivial reasons.


Do I deny that good things exist?  Of course not.  There’s always good people in the world just as there are bad ones.  But do you really just ignore the bad out there in order to only see the good?  Or down play the bad rather?  I don’t understand why or how people do that.  How you just ignore it all and pretend like it doesn’t exist.  It’s the same for basic aspects of my personal life.  There’s this whole idea in the world that the only way you can even begin to get ahead is if you think positive.  And if that’s the case, then I’ll probably go nowhere.  It’s something I just can’t bring myself to do.  It’s such a chore to begin to do so.  I just don’t see why I should force myself to “believe” things I feel are a lie.  Heh…though I suppose there’d be some person who’d be willing to argue that the way I think right now is the lie.  But really is it?  If I know myself better than anyone else would, how come the way I think now wouldn’t be the truth?


Can someone just explain why it is that forcing myself to be optimistic is so great?  If I want to do anything in life to make myself successful, it seems like the only way to do so is to force myself to be completely different than I am now and to force myself to believe things about myself and the nature of life that just aren’t true.  Want to lose weight?  Have to believe that the time, effort, pain, and self-sacrifice is really worth it for a little bit of a longer life (which is a plus but more of a minus).  Want to be successful doing what I want to do?  Then I have to always be confident and happy with what I’m doing.  But more that I have to be happy with it no matter what.  Want to be happy?  Then I have to pretend like everything I find true is a lie…and it isn’t.  Really I just want someone to explain this whole concept of optimism to me.  Why the deuce am I suppose to like life?  Or be happy with it?  Or how am I even suppose to look on the bright side of things when that side doesn’t seem to exist?